Fear and Loathing in Thedas
by Inanis Incedeco
Summary: Modern day AU: Leliana and her Warden go to Las Vegas in celebration. Gambling, (Non-Explicit) Sex and Drugs await them.
1. Impossible Odds

_Author's Note: This was written for the prompt of a Modern AU Mara and Leliana visiting Las Vegas. This was originally going to be a one-shot, but I had too much fun filling it, so it'll be three parts._

 _If you want to prompt me with anything, please feel free to leave a Review, send me a PM, or search for greyassassin24 on Tumblr and click on the Prompts tab. I also post story early on Tumblr, as well as previews on stories that I'm not sure if I'll post elsewhere._

Mara looked down at her cards, and realized what was happening.

She was in the Poker room of the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. She and her girlfriend Leliana had taken a vacation to the The Silver City in celebration of Mara's recent promotion to Governor of the city of Amaranthine.

And she didn't quite know how she had wound up gambling like this. She'd woken up at 3 in the morning, and hadn't been able to sleep at all. Eventually, she had gone for a walk and had somehow wound up in the gambling hall. She disliked the idea of Slots in general, too much chance for her tastes, and the only other game she knew the rules too was Poker.

"I raise you a thousand." Her voice was calm, with a face of moulded stone. Her luck had been awful all morning, and she had lost almost twenty-five thousand in an hour, never having won a single hand.

"Cute." One of the two other players remarked. There had been an astounding fifteen of them to start, and now it was down to Mara and two other men at the table, and the stakes were huge. "I'll put mine at four thousand."

"Five." The last man challenged.

"Eight." Mara said coldly.

"Ten." One of them dared with a twinkle in his eye.

"Twenty thousand dollars." The other challenged.

Mara broke down crying at that, laying her cards face down, and began sobbing.

"Oh god." She cried. "What am I going to tell my girlfriend? I'm going to be so broke."

One of the men laughed. "So, are you out?"

She shook her head, her whole body shaking. "Oh, what the hell? She's going to kill me anyways. Twenty."

"Twenty." The last man confirmed.

And that did it. With every bet made in this round, that put it at one million, thirty-five thousand and eighty-seven dollars.

The two men flipped their cards. The first had an ace and a two. Adding that to the faceup cards gave him two pairs, aces and jacks. The spectators made a murmur of approval. That was a very good hand, and would be difficult to beat.

Mara should have been the next to show her cards, but the other man went over her, showing his next. The first card was a jack. Three of a kind. That would easily beat the first, and the crowd murmured again.

But then came his real triumph. He turned over the other second card to reveal another Jack, and the entire audience gasped. The odds of getting four of a kind were more than four-thousand to one. Incredibly luck, almost a miracle.

The winning man began to pull the chips towards him. The man roared in delight.

"E-excuse me." Mara stammered quietly, her eyes wet. "W-what about my cards? Can I at least play them?"

"Your cards?" The man blinked, having forgotten about the petite woman. He glanced at the table to reassure himself. Four Jacks. "Oh, of course."

"Yeah, come on sweet cheeks!" The other man chuckled. "You at least deserve that since you made yourself bankrupt."

Mara waited for a dreadfully silent moment, and turned her hand.

She turned the Eight and Ten of Hearts.

The whole room was silent. The Seven, Nine and Jack of Hearts were already on the table, faceup. Together with the Eight and Ten...

Mara had won.

Everything was quiet for the briefest moment that stretched itself into eternity, and then the room exploded in shrieks and whoops, and Mara smiled widely, her eyes mischievous. The innocent little girl act had worked perfectly.

She piled her chips in, and then it hit her.

She was a millionaire.

 **At Mara and Leliana's Hotel Room**

It was Seven in the morning when Mara opened the door to their room, and saw Leliana posed on their bed, wearing a filmy scarlet babydoll _négligée_ _that made Mara's heart thunder in her chest and dry her mouth_.

"Hey pretty girl." Mara's voice was light and happy, with a slight sultry edge to it. "How're you?"

"Mmm." Leliana giggled, running a finger on the top of their bedsheets. "I am absolutely lovely." She rolled on her back, and stretched her legs out, arching them elegantly. "I was ever so lonely when I woke up alone." She made that come hither motion that she was a master of. "Why don't you come over here and ravish me, _mon amour_?"

"That sounds absolutely amazing." She smiled, and walked slowly over to the bed, sitting beside her French girlfriend. "But first I have some amazing news."

"Oh?" Leliana turned a little, meeting the midnight blue eyes of her British lover. "And what is that?"

"We're millionaires!" She exclaimed, and Leliana's eyes widened, sitting up a little.

"What?"

Mara picked up her lover, and hugged Leliana tightly, kissing her on the lips. "When I couldn't sleep, I went off to the Gambling hall. I was playing Poker, back in the professional room, and I won over a million!"

Leliana pulled back a little, meeting Mara's gaze. "Mon cœur, you're serious, aren't you?" Mara nodded. "Oh my god." They kissed again. "W-what do we do now?"

Mara had a smile that was threatening to break her face. "Whatever we want. We're rich!"

Leliana spluttered in disbelief. "Well... let's go hit the town!"

Mara nodded. "That sounds lovely. But first, I think I'll take up that offer to ravish the sexiest French girl in the world..."

Leliana giggled, and met her girlfriend in a loving kiss, feeling herself being pinned against the bed by surprisingly strong arms, and soft, warm lips caressing her throat.

"Mmm, someone's having a good morning..." Leliana murmured.

"A _very_ good morning."


	2. May it Never Change

"Dear god." Mara whispered in awe at the breathtaking view. "I've never been anywhere so beautiful."

The Alizé restaurant was absolutely gorgeous. They were up on the fifty-sixth floor, and the glittering lights of the Vegas Strip were like glittering stars beneath them, in an astonishing view that stretched for miles. Now that they were rich, they could afford such a lovely getaway.

"It's nowhere near as pretty as you." Leliana teased.

"Oh, stop it." Mara blushed, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. "It's nowhere as pretty as you either."

The maître d'hôtel came and showed them to their seats, which Mara had paid extra to get a window seat. Nothing was too good for her Leliana.

"So, I know nothing of French food." Mara admitted as they sat down. "So I'm going to need your help ordering."

Leliana giggled. "But of course, mon ange. Gourmet food is a passion of mine after all."

With Leliana's help, Mara picked out the Coquille St. Jacques for their dinner, and Mocha Pots de Crème for their dessert.

"Well, while we wait," Leliana said. "What do you think we should do with our newfound money?"

Mara giggled. "Our money?" She teased. "My goodness Leliana, I can't believe you would use me like this."

Leliana scoffed in an offended gasp. "How dare you accuse a lady of such a thing?" She lifted her nose up and put the back of her wrist on her forehead in false offence. "I was merely asking a question."

Mara laughed. "Oh, don't look so wounded." She smiled at Leliana, who dropped her façade with a girlish giggle. "I don't know. I've never had so much money in my entire life. Is there anything you want to do with it?"

She shook her head. "No. I've never had so much to my name either. We could buy, or do, anything we want."

"Is there anything you've ever dreamed of doing?" Mara asked, meeting her lover's eyes in a loving stare.

"Hmm." Leliana thought, pondering. "Well, I have always wanted to have a beautiful British lover, with sparkling midnight blue eyes, and raven-black hair that streams past her shoulders, with a petite stature and the most adorable little doe nose..."

Mara shook her head again with a wild smile dancing across her mouth. "Oh, stop it, you little flirt." She chastised with a snicker. "Besides, you can find that on any street corner. Now a sexy French girl with flaming red hair, and the single greatest personality in the world? Now that's something that money can't buy."

Before they could continue their little romantic bubble, the waiter came with their food.

And Leliana had exquisite taste.

The dinner was absolutely fabulous, making Mara's mouth water the instant it arrived, and it was easily the best thing she had ever eaten, and she was in an ecstasy the whole time.

"I'll never understand how you can eat so much." Leliana giggled.

"With food this amazing?" Mara enthused. "My dear, I could eat this every moment for the rest of my life and never tire of it."

And watching Leliana eat only added to it. She had just an elegant way of eating, slowly cutting small squares out of the creamy scallop, and gingerly bringing it to her lips and slowly chewing with a smile.

"Oh my god." Mara gushed with a full belly and heart once she had finished her meal. "That was so amazing."

Leliana giggled. "I'm so very glad. I will have to take you to more fancy places like this in the future." She blew a kiss to her lover, making the other woman laugh. "What drink are you ordering?"

Mara shook her head. "Oh no. I'm not a drinker."

Leliana tsked. "Well, that can't stand. You can't just go to a fancy restaurant like this and _not_ order a drink. It's just improper."

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Mara smiled.

" _Maaaybe_." Leliana winked. "Tell you what: You order whatever you want..." She leaned in, and lifted Mara's chin with two fingers, stealing her lover's breath. "And maybe I'll share."

Mara's mouth was suddenly dry, and her heart thundered in her chest. She signalled for their waiter, and smiled. "Hello, I would like to order the..." She glanced at her menu, knowing that it didn't matter what she ordered. "Chartreuse, please." He nodded, and went to go and get it for her.

"Chartreuse?!" Leliana asked in disbelief. "Mon Ange, that's a hard liqueur! It has a fifty-five percent Alcohol by volume!"

"Erm..." Mara trailed off without understanding, blinking vacantly.

Leliana shook her head. "My love, that has more alcohol in it than Vodka."

Mara swallowed hard. "I... wow." It was too late to reorder now. "Well... if you wanted to get me drunk... well, it looks like you just might get your wish."

The waiter brought their drink, and poured it into two glasses for them, leaving the bottle at the table. Each woman took one in their hands.

"A toast." Mara proposed, holding her glass high. "To us, and to our love."

"It's a good life we live." Leliana smiled, raising her glass. "May it never change."

"And may it never change us."

 **The Next Morning...**

" _Ohhhh my godddddd..._ " Mara groaned slowly as she woke up, hammers pounding in her head, the pain so great that she could feel the veins in the temple of her head rumbling. Everything after their dinner was an absolute blur...

She seemed to remember something about going to a dance club, with lights that were blinding even in memory, and then off to some white place... and then... darkness.

She was arse naked, with her feisty little French lover cuddled into her side, stark naked. Well, at least she knew who she had slept with. She gently rolled Leliana back onto her side, and sat up, rubbing her eyes.

They were in their hotel room again, laying on their heart-shaped bed with their clothes were strewn about the room. Her head was pounding so badly that she thought her head might split open at any moment, and Athena would come jumping out.

Leliana stirred, and opened her eyes with a smile. "Mmm." She murmured. "Good morning." Even her lover's gentle accent echoed in her head like a drum. Leliana tried to sit up, and felt a resistance. "Er... um, Mara?"

"Hm?"

"I'm tied to the bed."

"Oh." She said simply, and went over, untying the rope that bound her lover's hand to the bedframe. "Well, good morning, I suppose." Her own words hurt, each letter vibrating and crawling in her skull. Mara rested her head in her hands, groaning gently. "Oh god... I must have gotten so drunk..."

Leliana nodded, her own hangover biting hard. "What happened last night?"

Mara shook her head. "I have no idea." She coughed hard, her mouth tasting vaguely of vomit.

And then she froze.

On her hand was a golden ring.

"Oh no." She whispered. She turned frantically to Leliana. "Darling, check your ring finger for me."

Leliana quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Just do it please."

She lifted her hand, and froze as well. She had a ring on her finger too.

"Oh shite." Mara summed up.

"D-d-did we get married last night?!" Leliana exclaimed.

Mara shook her head. "I don't know." She laid her head in her hands. "Shite, shite, shite."

Leliana scooted up by Mara, and threw an arm around her lover, and possibly wife. "Let's just hope we got married to each other, and not someone else."

She nodded emphatically. "Is marriage between two women even legal in the U.S?"

Leliana nodded. "It was just legalized a few weeks ago."

"Oh no..." Mara shook her head. "Oh man, we are in so much trouble."

Mara blinked the haze out of her eyes, shaking herself fully awake. "Well," She said slowly, unsure of what they should do next. "Let's get dressed, and see if we can find anything to tell us what we did last night." She stood, and rummaged around for her pants.

As she was looking, she stumbled across a bar cart in the corner. On it was a white cake, half-eaten, a smattering of ten or so Chartreuse bottles, a letter clearly marked **'Bill'** and a DVD case with an insert that had a heart on it, and read ' _Precious Memories'_

"Oh god." Mara picked up the case and turned it over, but the rest of the case was a blank white.

"What is it?" Leliana was looking at her, and Mara turned.

"I think I just found our wedding tape."


	3. Making Amends

Thankfully, their hotel room had come with a DVD player, and they managed to get it in and running.

The scene cut, and Mara and Leliana were standing together at one of those chapels that some of the hotels and casinos had in them, at a makeshift altar, still wearing their fine suits that they had been wearing the whole trip.

An unknown man was talking to them. "And do you take this woman, Mara, to be your wife?"

"I..." Leliana looked like she was barely standing, wobbling off balance. If she didn't have an arm around Mara she would likely fall over where she stood. "I most certainly-" She broke off with a hiccup. "Do."

"And do you take this Leliana to be your wife?"

Mara didn't look so great either. She was wobbling, although not as much as Leliana, and had eyes that were half lidded in exhaustion.

"W-wha'd you call me?" She looked like she tried to shake a fist at him, but it came more of a wave or an air slap.

The man sighed. "Do you want to get married?"

She smiled a goofy, delirious smile. "Sure..." She croaked. "Why not?"

The man shook his head. "Then by the powers vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you wife, and... wife."

Mara took Leliana, who looked like she was ready to fall over and pass out at any moment, in her arms, and stuck her tongue in her newly crowned wife's mouth, and began unlacing her clothes.

Security guards came in and started dragging them off. "Heeeey..." Mara groaned as they were peeled apart. "It's alright..." She hiccuped. "We're maaariedd!"

The footage cut.

The screen turned black, and they could see themselves in the black reflective glass of the TV.

"We are _so_ dead." Mara said slowly, burying her head in her hands. "If word gets out about this, I'll lose my job for sure!"

"I'm so, so sorry!" Leliana cried with a sob in her voice. "You must be so mad at me. This was all my idea, trying to get you to drink at the bar..."

Mara shook her head. "No, no, my love. You were just trying to make sure we had a fun night. This is no one's fault. If anything, it's my fault: I only bought those drinks 'cause I was trying to sleep with you..."

There was an eerie silence in the room for a moment, where neither of them knew what to say. "What do we do now?" Leliana asked after a moment.

"I don't know." She shook her head. "I just don't know."

Their eyes met, and Mara's heart sank when she saw the hopeless look on her wife's face. "Hey," She put a hand on Leliana's cheek. "Don't worry too hard about it, we'll work this out." She leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you."

"I've made such a mess of everything." Leliana whispered.

Mara shook her head. "Don't be so hard on yourself." She insisted, trying to calm the poor girl whose nerves were clearly shot. "It's not a big deal, really."

"Not a big deal?!" She cried. "I just drunkenly seduced you into marriage!"

"Well," She said slowly in the most soothing voice she had. "I _do_ love you, and I have no objection to marrying you. I just... didn't expect to do it this way."

Leliana slowly shook her head, hanging it low. "I love you too, but... get married like this? It feels so... crude, so... disrespectful to the way I feel about you."

Mara knew what she had to do to fix this. She leaned in and kiss her lover gently, holding it just long enough to leave her dizzy and slid the ring off of Leliana's finger in a slight of hand. Then she slid off of the bed and onto one knee.

"Leliana," She stared her lover in the eyes, staring into her eyes. "Will you marry me?"

The Frenchwoman shook her head. "I... already have, apparently."

"Not like that." Mara said with adamant determination in her voice. "Damn it Leli, I don't want our marriage to begin at some Casino. I want a real wedding in a fancy Cathedral, with all our friends and family, on a sun-dappled Spring morning. Will you make me the happiest woman in the entire world?"

Leliana swallowed hard, and nodded repeatedly with the greatest smile in the world dancing on her lips. "Yes. Yes my love, of course I will." Mara slide the ring on her finger and stood again, kissing her fiancée on the lips.

"I love you so much." She whispered.

"I love you too." Leliana murmured. "What about your job?"

Mara shook her head. "Don't worry about that. We'll work everything out." She giggled. "And we're millionaires, aren't we? We'll be fine."

"How much did we spend last night?"

She reached over and picked up the Bill from the table, and gave a low whistle. "A little over thirty thousand." She read off.

"Oh my!" Leliana shrieked. "In one night?! How could we spend that much?!"

Mara slowly shook her head. "Welll, it looks like we spent quite a bit at that French restaurant we went to, and then apparently we went to a dance club, and then I guess we got married. After that, it looks like I somehow made twenty dollars at Slots before promptly losing another thousand at Blackjack..." She trailed off, her eyes wide.

"What is it?" Leliana whispered.

"Apparently I bought a motorcycle..." She shook her head. "Oh god. I don't even like driving in cars. Why did I buy that?" Mara sighed heavily. "Well, after that it looks like we went to a couple of fast-food places, and then we spent another hundred at a..." She sighed, shaking her head heavily. "Video store, before coming back here."

"Oh god." Leliana sighed, hanging her head in shame. "I've never spent so much in one night before. We must have been _so_ drunk."

Mara nodded. "I certainly hope so. Otherwise, why did we order Anchovy tacos from three separate Dell Taco's?" She shook her head gently "It's a very good thing I won all that money, I suppose."

Leliana gave a low laugh. "How are you so calm about all of this?"

Mara shrugged. "Hey, what do I have to be angry about? I'm married to the prettiest French girl in the world, I have a bright future ahead of me, and a whole lot of money. Seems like I have the perfect life."

"I love you. So, so much." Leliana whispered.

"I love you too." Mara met her for a gentle kiss. "Now, come give you fiancée some loving, will you?"

"Now _that_ I know I'm good at." Leliana giggled, and kissed her lover. "I don't know how I deserve you." Mara tried to say something, but was cut off by another kiss. "Hush, my darling. Let me take care of you."

And with that she pinned Mara against the bed, and kissed her again.

" _This time_ ," Mara teased. "I'm drunk on love."

Leliana giggled, and kissed her softly.


End file.
